OLD Tales of the Tavern
by Dreamnorn
Summary: This is a series of short oneshots revolving around the main characters of the Order of the Stick. Watch as they raid closets, turn "invisible", and battle trees on their epic quest to stop Xykon. Rated T for mild themes. On hiatus.


**This is my attempt at a Belkar-themed story. I quite enjoyed writing it… LOL!**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Order of the Stick, or any of the characters within this story. Rich Berlew does._**

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Belkar: Searching for Answers

Belkar muttered impatiently to himself. _C'mon, Ears,_ he thought, _get out already!_ The bitter little Halfling was hiding behind a plant pot in front of Vaarsuvius's room, crouching as quietly as he could. Sure, he wasn't as good at hiding as Haley was, but he was hoping he could try and sneak a peek into V's room.

While the angry Halfling continuously swore about elves under his breath, a slow creak was heard. Belkar kept quiet, taking a look through the leaves. It was Vaarsuvius, exiting the room with a spell book. _This'll be easier than I thought._ Belkar snickered.

Suddenly, Vaarsuvius stopped. The elf perked its ears, and a small frown was on V's features. _Oh, snap!_ Belkar thought angrily, _I shouldn't have snickered. V probably knows I'm here…_

Despite Belkar's momentary doubt, Vaarsuvius just shrugged and proceeded down the hall and towards the dining room. When the elf disappeared from view, Belkar chuckled, "Sweet," and slinked into the elf's room.

He was there. Vaarsuvius and Haley always shared a room, so he could see some of their basic items around the room: Haley's metal polish and boots, Vaarsuvius's hairpiece, and a few other assorted objects that were valuable to either or both the rogue and the wizard. But Belkar had a very specific item he wanted to look for.

Belkar decided to root through the dresser drawers. The top drawer contained mountains upon mountains of gold, jewels, and shiny baubles. The ranger chuckled and quietly took a few little coins, and the odd gem or two.

Opening the second drawer, he found several robes, brown v-necked shirts, and plain shorts. Irritated, Belkar growled, "Come on! Where is it?!"

He opened the third drawer, only to find that it was empty. Quietly cursing, Belkar opened the fourth drawer, just to find a few of Haley's extra hair bands.

The Halfling had had quite enough.

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!" He roared. As violently as he could, Belkar began rooting through Vaarsuvius's cloaks and scattering them on the floor. "WHERE DOES VAARSUVIUS KEEP HIS... erm... her?... --AWH, DANGIT! It's _gotta_ be here somewhere!"

"Conceivably, it is precisely behind you, Belkar."

Belkar spun around. At the most inopportune of moments, Vaarsuvius had chosen to return to the chamber in order to retrieve the forgotten crown that usually adorned the elf's head. The furious spell caster's arms were crossed and his (her?) eyebrows knitted in an expression of rage.

Terrific.

"Belkar Bitterleaf, you immoral Halfling hooligan, what in the appellation of the ancient Elvin god of arcane knowledge are you doing, trashing Miss Starshine's and my room and foraging through my robes?"

The ranger, as stubborn as usual, refused to give in. "What does that matter?! Get out of here, Ears!"

"I sincerely doubt that you possess the authority in order to issue me out of my own place of rest, you addle-brained fool!" Vaarsuvius snapped. "Now, I request you withdraw from this ludicrous tomfoolery and proceed to exit through the threshold."

"Oh, yeah? Well try and make me!" Belkar stuck out his tongue rudely and roared, "I ain't going until I find what I'm looking for!"

Vaarsuvius clenched her (his?) teeth and cautioned impatiently, "I fear that you are making a thick-headed miscalculation…."

"TRY ME!!" At that, Belkar flew into the air, and readied for an attack.

_Later..._

A loud explosion and a high-pitched scream could be heard from the Dining Hall. Haley raised her head. _What was that?_ she wondered.

The noise was not attracting much attention; the hotel the Order of the Stick were staying in was a small one, and nobody seemed to care that there was some kind of trouble stirring up from the corridor. Roy and Elan didn't seem to notice at all, since they were engrossed in a card game. Durkon was quietly sitting alone at a faraway table, lost in his own thoughts.

Haley stared at the corridor from which the sound originated. Nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary…

With a slam, a curse, and a moan of agony, Belkar limped into the room. He was burnt, caked in ash, and was picking an uncomfortable looking wedgie. Haley struggled to contain an inward laugh. The rogue, choking on her laughter, giggled, "What happened to you?"

Belkar unenthusiastically mumbled, "Evan's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion…"

Vaarsuvius proceeded to enter the room directly after. Belkar took one look at the wizard and instantly yelped and darted towards the nearest exit on the opposite side of the Dining Hall. Upon witnessing that, a very pleased Vaarsuvius smiled. The elf doubted that Belkar would ever try THAT again.

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Ahaha! Read and Review, please!


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